There comes a point in any career when you have to decide whether you are there to please the system or to shape it.Within too many people who come into public life from state-school backgrounds, there is an ingrained instinct to be accommodating, helpful and agreeable. For women, this is even worse – we have been raised to be careful, not to disrupt, and never to challenge. This means authority becomes internalised: respect becomes deference, and deference holds us back.This is why I recognise and despair at Bridget Phillipson’s blind loyalty to Keir Starmer whilst all the blokes position themselves for attack. I despise Philipson’s approach to education – especially the VAT on private schools, which has simply left more places for the thick kids of billionaires – but I beg her to recognise such ruinous self-abnegation.“Get a grip, woman!” I find myself yelling at the TV, “You’re not Dolly Parton! Stop standing by your man!”From beneath her sensible bob, Phillipson says: “It’s a shame that Wes has decided to take this step… We have work to do… We are getting on with the job of running the country.”It is the classic don’t-rock-the-boat deputy head girl at the open day showing round parents and failing to mention that their child will be bullied on day one.Sir Keir Starmer alongside Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson | PAI despise her education department’s changes, including their obsession with increasing technology in classrooms and viewing every child as in need of a special needs label.However, she is one of the very few Cabinet members who has the cajones to talk to GB News on a regular basis, so I respect that – now it’s time to put those metaphorical appendages on the line.To understand Bridget Phillipson, you must see her as the polar opposite of Peter Mandelson – for example – or a million other examples of male, public-school-educated self-believers who bounce back from scandal and rejection without any shame. And yes, of course, there is an element of sexism that underpins this trend: different rules apply to men and women. There are more men in positions of power, and they tend not to admire or accommodate forthright women who challenge the status quo. Women must strike a balance that does not ‘upset’ too many men, as we will be called mad, hysterical, bossy or difficult. But right now, Phillipson looks weak, compliant and insipid.So, c’mon Bridget, love, you’re already Education Secretary after going to a comprehensive and getting to Oxford! Please channel your inner Boris Johnson, Tony Blair or Donald Trump and kick Starmer to the kerb! Do you honestly think he would stand by you if the tables were turned…?Working-class kids like Phillipson often mistake politeness for effectiveness. In high-pressure environments, “being nice” can become a default for women raised on council estates but who climb the social mobility ladder through graft and intelligence.While Andy Burnham readies himself for a by-election and Wes Streeting builds a fighting team, Philipson refuses to criticise a Zombie Prime Minister. When asked about a recent phone call to Wes Streeting, she said through a weak smile that she would not discuss a personal call. Why on earth not? Maybe I’ve been hanging around with Donald Trump too much, but such secretive responses from politicians just look sneaky in 2026.The public expects transparency, especially at a time like this. How terrible would it be to give us the brushstrokes of their discussion?… This coyness is cloying, and the voters hate it.Women like this may feel quietly proud of their success, but there is always a nagging voice that they will be ‘found out’, and so they embody a hesitation to push back and a tendency to prioritise harmony over conviction. Scared of losing career progress entirely, they yoke themselves to a man like Starmer in the hope that he will always lift them up. But history teaches us that desperate political figures have a penknife poised to release the ballast as soon as it becomes necessary.Events in Westminster right now are politics wrought real – and real authority comes from something else entirely: clarity, self-belief and the willingness to think ‘sod it’ when big decisions loom.That means not outsourcing your instincts to the expectations of others. It means not assuming that proximity to power requires compliance with it. And it means recognising that you do not need permission to take up space, argue your corner or position yourself on the political chessboard to optimise your own chance of winning.Sometimes, the most important step is the simplest one: stop asking how to fit in, dear Bridget, and start deciding what you believe, where you want to be when the chips fall and position yourself for success – like a man.